Archive for December, 2005

Found On Slashdot

Friday, December 30th, 2005

Guy A: Fess up. Who wants more exercise because they want to feel healthier, and who wants more exercise because they want to impress the opposite sex?

Guy B: I’m pretty sure most people agree that more sex makes them feel better.

Guy C: This can be a vicious cycle. I once got into shape. It started innocently enough with a few situps and pushups in the morning before going to work. I started feeling better and got more confident. This started attracting the opposite sex. All the sex ended up burning even more calories. I got into better shape. The sex plus the physique made me even more confident. To make a long story short… within a month I was basically engaged in sex about 20 out of 24 hours a day; sometimes with three or four supermodels at a time.

It may sound good in theory, but after a year or so I had had enough. A good friend of mine managed to sneak me a rope underneath a tray of oysters and champagne. I managed to convice Monique, Tara, Natasha, and Miriam that I was going to take a shower (“alone, this time, ladies”) and from the bathroom window I managed to rappel down the sides of the Four Seasons to a waiting limo.

Under cover of darkness, I retreated to a special camp where I played Doom (this was back in the 90’s) and drank Mountain Dew. Thankfully, after a few months of this I was able to resume a normal life and pass unnoticed as a “normal Joe”.

The moral of the story is: don’t work out unless you are willing to suffer the consequences

On Quantum Mechanics, Automata, Video Games, and Free Will

Saturday, December 24th, 2005

A deterministic system is one where changes to the state of the system are governed by a set of rules. The system’s state at a future time can be predicted with 100% accuracy if the current state of the system is known. Most every day physical systems appear deterministic to us – if you put a box of microwave burritos in the freezer, those burritos will stay inside the freezer.

A lot of people believe that determinism prevents free will – if an object’s behavior is totally governed by specific rules, then that object cannot have free will. You could claim that the burrito ‘chose’ to stay inside the freezer, but this would be akin to saying that a man tripped and ‘choose’ to fall to the ground instead of hovering in mid air before righting himself. (Which reminds me – I hate when I do something inadvertently, such as stub my toe, and someone asks ‘why did you do that?’ as if It were something I thought would be a good idea. Really gets me mad.) Our bodies are physical things. We know that physical things are subject to the laws of physics – wouldn’t this mean that our bodies (including our brians) are deterministic, and therefore we cant’ have free will?

Actually, the answer is ‘No, not quite.’ According to the experimentally verified and widely accepted (among scientists, anyhow) quantum mechanical model of the world, the behavior of physical things is nondeterministic. Over a given time period, an object’s energy fluctuates. The magnitude of these fluctuations is inversely proportional to the time period over which the object is observed. Over a very, very short time period, the burritos could get enough energy to ‘tunnel’ through the freezer walls and end up outside of the freezer, without anyone opening the lid to get them out. The probability of this happening, howerver, is extremely low. The indeterminancy introduced into the world provides a possible explanation for free will.

In our burrito example, If we look at the freezer for a long time, and eventually the burrito just appears outside the freezer, we could maybe conclude that the burrito ‘chose’ to come out of the freezer. Before, choice was impossible because we could tell to which state the burrito would transition. The addition of indeterminacy to the world appears to make free will possible. At this point you may be confused if you do not have a good understanding of computational automata, so allow me to explain them here.

An automata system consists of several states, several possible events, and a ‘transition’ function. An automata exists in one state at a time, and as events occur, the automata may change to a different state depending on the type of event that occured. For example, in the deterministic model of the burrito, there are two states:

1) The Burrito is inside the freezer
2) The Burrito is outside the freezer

Likewise, there are two possible events:

A) Nobody does anything
B) Someone comes along to change things up

If the burrito is in state 1) and event A) occurs, nothing happens – the burrito remains in state 1). If the burrito is in state 1) and event B) occurs, then the burrito will change to state 2). While in state 2), the burrito does nothing in the case of event A), and goes to state 1) (back in the freezer) if event B) occurs.

Adding indeterminacy to our system simply adds a third state:
3) The Burrito exists in a superposition of being both inside and outside the freezer
When the burrito is in any of the states and A) happens, it will transition to state 3).

The ’superposition’ buisness is true of the way quantum mechanics works in our world as well – an electron can have a superposition of multiple states. When it’s observed, howerver, the electron will collapse into one state; this collapse is a random event and the probabilty for collpase into a given state is based upon the amplitude of that state in the current wave function of the electron. In more simple language, the burrito could be 50% inside the fridge and 50% outside; when someone comes to look at it, it will ‘choose’ one of the states into which to collapse, with both of them being equally likely. Or, it could be 80% inside the fridge and 20% outside, in which case the burrito will most likely be inside the fridge if we check.

I shoud warn you that my undersatnding of quantum mechanics is rather poor at this stage in my life, and that although I’m sure what I’ve written is accurate, I can’t provide the depth of analysis that I would like.

The world itself could be a simply automata, with a finite (although very huge) possible number of states, each with state describing the position and location of every single particle in the universe. In this case, some people would say that the only ‘event’ which occurs to drive the automata is a simple time ‘tick’ – the state changes into a new state over discrete time periods, based upon the internal configuration of the world. What a lot of people don’t consider, however, is the possibilty that there are multiple events that could occur; time is just the one that we’re able to measure.

Going all the way back to the burrito example, what if we keep the system deterministic but just add a third possible type of event, which we’ll call C), but we won’t really describe other than that when event C) occurs, the burrito will go from being inside the fridge to being outside the fridge. The system is still deterministic, but it’s possible for the burrito to appear to exhibit ‘choice.’

What i’m trying to get at here is that perhaps choice exists, and the mechanism for choice is in the nature of the ‘events’ that occur, causing the state to transition. Most scientists see time as the only thing driving change in the universe – but if if there really was somethign called ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and these things existed as possible events that could happen. It’s easy to observe time because there are plenty of thins that all appear to change with ever ‘time’ tick of the world – but if if there are others that we don’t know about because our capability of the world is too subtle for us to understand?

If you’d like an example of a system that works exactly as I have described, consider video games. The primary mechanism by which tihngs change in a video game world is the time mechanism – object’s positiosn and velocities are updated as time changes. Things also change depending on which buttons the player chooses to press.

Our world could easily be an automata – this is something I have considered for a long time. What if there’s more than one symbol on the automata’s input tape? Curious, indeed.

[Crap, I just realized that nobody probably knows what I mean by 'input tape.' When automata theory was developed back in the 20's, the guys that worked on it imagined machines that looked at pieces of paper with little symbols written on them, the symbols corresponding in our case to the different types of events. ]

Simple Rules

Friday, December 23rd, 2005

From the WoW Forums:

1st RULE: You do not talk about Warlocks

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about Warlocks

3rd RULE: If mage says stop or gets spell-locked, taps out the duel is over

4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight (as in two against the lock, to be fair)

5th RULE: Only one fight per DC cooldown

6th RULE: No spellstone, no health stone

7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to

8th RULE: If this is your first time as a warlock, you have to summon.

PS If you’re wondering what I’m doing posting stupid crap on my blog at 4 AM i will tell you. We migrated some servers to an offsite location today, but the RAID controller card on our exchange server decided to die. I decided that since it was already 3 AM when this happened, I wasn’t going to be able to get up in time for work tomorrow (today?) anyhow and decided to sit here untill the dell guy shows up at 8 today. So now I’m just trying to pass the time.

Facebook Sucks

Friday, December 23rd, 2005

I made a thing on the facebook so I could see some pictures from the gatlinburg trip I went on with some high school friends over the summer. I told it I was interested in python, and when I clicked the link It said there were all of these people who went to Xavier and were interested in python. I clicked one to see what the deal was, and I realized it just found the word ‘python’ somewhere in their interests. Way to not write a tokenizer, you lazy jerks.

Woohoo!

Wednesday, December 21st, 2005

I had just finished writing a script to take employee contact information from an Excel Spreadsheet and put it into Active Directory, which had a problem in some form or another for several months now, when I recieved an email message from the ‘AtriCure Stock Bot’ which I wrote to automatically mail AtriCure’s stock price to our CEO every hour on the hour.

It feels good to write code and know that the code you’re writing is doing something useful.

Merry Christmas*

Wednesday, December 21st, 2005

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all…

…and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

If you’re wondering, Some guy posted this on slashdot.

Fourier Analysis of the Luck Function

Monday, December 19th, 2005

I had my last exam for school on wednesay. I use the term ‘exam’ loosely – we handed in the answers to two question that my theology professor asked us, and then he showed us some slide show with pictures he had taken claiming ‘the end is near.’ Most of them were photos of people in my class doing various strange things. At the end of the slide show, there was the question ‘what can we do?’ and the words ‘leeroy.wav’ on the screen.

As a World of Warcraft player, I instantly recognized the word ‘Leeroy‘, and I though to myself “there’s no way that’s what he’s talking about. ” Sure enough, he explains the movie to the class, and then plays the ‘Leeroy Jenkins’ battlecry thing on his cell phone. I didn’t think people would appreciate the humor, seeing as how they didn’t play WoW and hadn’t seen the movie, but they seemed to think it was funny.

After I went to hand in that exam, I went to pay my bursar bill for the next semester. I owed $1,100, which was going to put a bit of a dent in my savings; especially because my car needed to get its water pump replaced, to the tune of $200 or so. When I got to the bursar’s office, the lady there told me that although she wasn’t entirely sure, ( because of the way their computer system was set up she couldn’t have an exact look at my bill) but she said that most likely Xavier owed me that $1,100. I wasn’t too sure about that, but when I got home and looked at my bill I realized I’d just read it wrong. I was pretty pleased at that point.

I took my car in to get it repaired on thursday (thanks for picking me up, megan) and they said they could have it finished by that day or perhaps friday. Thusrday afternoon I got a call telling me that not only was the water pump cracked, but one of the intake gaskets was busted and that was causing coolant to leak into the engine. The whole thing was going to cost $800 to fix. I felt pretty bad untill megan pointed out that my school was going to pay me $1,100, So I guess that cancels out.

That night, I went to Bw3’s with Grant Simpson, Bob Doerning, Jeremy and Megan. There it was decided that we would all go back to my house, to have a PvP raid in WoW. We all play on the Dark Iron server, in a guild of our own creation called ‘Invite Only.’ We were all low levels; Megan and I were 17, Bob was 25, and Jeremy was 45. It was great fun and we had a good time until some level 60’s showed up to chase us out of there. We killed some stupid guy named ‘Crumbsdanish’ at least 10 times. Sucker.

Friday morning, I woke up to a message on my blackberry from Adam, my boss at work He asked if I liked skiing, and if I’d be availible for a trip to Utah on January 8-11. I told him, I’d have to miss a few days from school, but sure I could go skiing. There’s some regional sales meeting and he wanted me to come to help update computers etc; he figured we could leave a day earlier and go skiing. I thought that was pretty cool.

Today I tried to make some cookies, with help from megan, for my company’s holiday ‘cookie exchange.’ We were told to make 6.5 dozen cookies, which meant we had to triple the recipe we were using. I decided to make lemon bars for some reason, and they didn’t turn out so good. If you’ve never had them before, lemon bars have a kind of crumbly crust and are filled with this gooey yellow lemony filling that’s pretty tasty. I’d always assumed that the filling was yellow because of the lemon inside; it turns out that the filling is yellow because it’s made with a whole bunch of eggs. After we cooked the things and let them sit, they were still all gooey and runny and it looked pretty gross. I don’t want to feed people cookies with runny egg-yolk product in them, so I guess I’ll be making a trip to buskins tomorrow morning. To buy 80 cookies. *sigh* Hopefully they’re not absurdly expensive.

Stupid +/- System

Friday, December 16th, 2005

This year, Xavier started using a +/- grading system. Prior to this year, your grade was either A, B, C, D or F. My grades were typically in the low ‘A’ region, so it worked out for me, because I usually got all A’s. I figured the shift would negatively impact my GPA, because I don’t get B’s, so there weren’t going to be any B’s transformed into B+’s, but likely I would have A’s ‘tuned down’ to A-’s. I was right; I got an A- in both Theoretical Mechanics and Electromagnetism. So I guess my GPA will be slighly lower than I would have been if I’d gotten A’s. Oh well.

Holy Crap

Saturday, December 10th, 2005

I just got myself an ipod, for which I didn’t pay a dime. Woot. You have to do a bit of work, but it’s easier than forking over the $300. This place called ‘freepay‘ gives you free crap if you go to their site, sign up for some offer or service, and then get 5 people to do the same. So it’s a pyramid scheme. Most of the offers you sign up for don’t end up costing you anything; things like a ‘real arcade’ online game service.

For the nonbeleivers, here is a picture of me with my new ipod:It’s a 30 gb Ipod video, for those who wonder.
Me with Free Ipod
Note that I am not normally so ugly. This picture was taken late at night, I haven’t shaved in a while, and white isn’t really my color. I normally look more like this.

I was able to get the 5 referrrals by posting a link in my signature line on slashdot, and then trolling for karma. After a month I had 4 referrals, and then I just kind of forgot about the whole thing (I’m not sure why) untill about a month ago. I was looking for someone to help me out, when Megan kindly did so for me. I ordered the Ipod on friday and it arrived tuedsay of this week, along with the t-shirt and a little goofy digital clock and some stickers.

If you’d like to get one for yourself, kindly use this referral link, which is for Megan. It will get you a $300 gift certificate instead of an ipod, but you could easily use the gift certificate, which is valid at a ridiculous number of places, to buy an ipod.

If you really just want the ipod link, use Megan’s Ipod referral, please.

On Theoretical Mechanics and its Philosophical Implications

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005

Today at work, Sue offered everyone drinks from the vending machine, which is a not-to-infrequent occurence. I was on the phone, so the said ‘just nod if you want one,’ and I said I’ll take the usual (a mountain dew, for those who wonder.) She laughed and said that we were all in a rut, to which I replied “It’s not a rut, it’s just the equilibrium position of the potential energy curve.”