Archive for September, 2006

I amuse myself

Thursday, September 28th, 2006

I decided, on a whim, to look at some code I wrote for computer programming classes back in my freshman year of college. That seems so long ago now. I have changed so much. Still, the things I did back then are amusing to me. I wrote all kinds of weird notes to Gary (the professor grading my projects) in the comments. Here are some that made me laugh:

Before some arithmetic:

//this fixes that stupid buisness of chars being negative instead of > 127
//that makes me so mad

Before a really ugly function:

//display the board in ASCII format
// i'm sure this function appears gargantuan and incomprehensible - just trust me that it works
//dont' even look any further

Before a bit of code that appears a few times in various forms:

//i suppose i could have written an inline function
//but i really dislike inline functions
//they seem like a waste of time to me

At the end of a compression program:

// MAKE SURE YOU CLOSE THE FILE or else all manner of nastiness shall ensue
//because the last few bits won't get written
//so the decompressor won't hit an EOF

And, my favorite, before calling function I write for a Heap data structure. I gave it a name different from the ‘canonical name’:


/this function below is equivalent to MaxHeapify
//but i think that's a dumb name

Curious

Monday, September 25th, 2006

I find myself missing world of warcraft a little bit right now. It was a horrendous timesink, but it was a lot of fun to spend time with your friends, explore a beautiful magical world, and become more powerful. Luckily the only friends I have who still play are all in the raiding game, in which I have zero interest.

I find I am still pretty busy after dropping quantum mechanics, so it’s not as if I am slacking off or anything. I’m taking the GRE tommorrow. For graduate schools, I plan to apply to Stanford, MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Illinois, Princeton, Georgia Tech, and perhaps UTA, Rice, or Wisconsin. Basically, a lot of ‘em. I have no idea where I’ll end up, but I figure I’ll go on a few visits and see what looks appealing.

I keep going back on forth on my abstract algebra class. I find it very interesting at times, but it’s a lot of work. I think if it wasn’t so early (boooo 8 :30 class) I wouldn’t have a problem, although that’s getting better since I work every day. Work is interesting. I didn’t really like it my first few days, but I’m starting to like it now and hopefully by the time I’ve been there for a month I’ll be really into it.

Today I gave a presentation on the research I did this summer. Eveyone in the room said i was very ‘enthusiastic’ which makes sense because I probably was. I had a great summer. By all accounts, it was completely wonderful. Every now and then I find myself thinking about it, and I really miss it. I had an absolutely amazing time, met some fun people, and formed memories that I will probably always have with me. It kind of hurts a little to know that it’s over and that I can’t go back there, but it’s heartening at the same time to know that right now I am probably forming similar memories.

I used to always try to look forward to potentially happy days in the future., because I was unhappy with where I was in life. Now, I frequently think back on great days that I’ve had in the recent past. There are some days when I’m able to just sit and be happy with where I am without thinking back to the past or anticipating the future. Those are good days indeed.

Yet another late night post

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about compression – it seems everythign we think, every idea, every statement, is some sort of compression hueristic for explaining our list of life experienecs. Is that all there really is, then? Telling people what you’ve experienced, or some shortened version thereof? Who knows?

Life is full of some weird stuff sometimes. I dropped a class today; hopefully that’ll give me more time to relax and have fun and make more positive memories. You don’t fondly remember staying up till 2 doing homework.

On life

Wednesday, September 20th, 2006

A good day today. A bit odd. Weird stuff happened. Got some work done and had an unexpectedly pleasant surprised. Socialized a little, wasted time that could have been spent doing homework, and didn’t get enough sleep. God it feels good.

Whitewater Rafting

Saturday, September 16th, 2006

I just got back from doing some whitewater rafting. We did Gauley run, which is along a river held back by a dam. They release the dam on weekends in the fall, increasing the flow along the river dramatically. The total run was 26 miles or so, and there were several class V rapids along the way. I fell out once, at a rapid called ‘gaping mother.’ I thought it was pretty fun, but honestly had more fun doing the simpler New River back in august. I think that may be beacuse the water was warmer, more of my friends were there, we did more surfing, swimming, and jumping, and there was a really pretty girl in my boat with me. This time it was much colder, our boat was larger (which means the ride is less violent) and I was just with Bob, his brother Luke, and their dad. It was good to see Luke, though. Hopefully Bob and I will do more climibing and camping together this year.

I have been looking at Grad Schools for a while, and recently, University of Illinois has started to make a ton of sense. They have an extremely good Computer Science program. Eeveryone says to ignore rankings but they’re tied for #5, with 4 schools tied for #1 according to the U.S. News rankings. They’re a big school which means I have a better chance of finding something I enjoy. They’re pretty close to chicago (2 hours) so I’ll be able to see all the friends I have living there, but they’re a college town which means housing is very cheap. The professor I spent all summer working with got his Ph. D. there, and one of the professors in their theory department wrote a paper that I spent a significant amount of time trying to digest. Theory is the brance of computer science I plan to go into – it deals with studying what can be computed, how efficiently, and how best to go about solving mathematical problems, among other interesting (nerdy) things. I then remembered my friend Jacob Osborne’s cousin goes there, and he too is apparently interested in C.S. Theory. I’m planing to visit the school over my fall break. Hopefully I like it.

The school year has started and I’m very busy. I figured I’d waste a little time after getting home from rafting, then I’ll probably make some food and get some homework done. Quantum Mechanics is interesting but the work of doing math is ugly. I hated the math in E&M and don’t really care for this. I like math, just the abstract stuff that you can do in your head and think about and nosh on for a while, not cranking out solutions to complicated integrals and keeping track of all the terms in a nasty equation and other boring things. I tend to make a lot of mistakes, and it really sucks to evaluate and find a solution to a nasty integral, only to realize that you were supposed to integrate |Ψ|2 instead of |Ψ|. On the other hand, Abstract Algebra 2 is pretty enjoyable. I’m glad that I’m taking Operating Systems and Machine Organization at the same time (Machine Organization is a sophomore level course that I was never able to fit into my schedule) because two courses mesh really well, and I’ll also be able to meet more of the sophomores. Number Theory so far has been entirely review for me. I like the teacher, though, and for my project I’ll probably look into random number generators, which I’ve been curious about for years.

I finally learned to play some eels on my guitar. ‘Blinking Lights (For Me)’, ‘Railroad Man’, ‘Things the Grandchildren Should Know,’ and ‘Hey Man (Now You’re Really Living!)’ are all under my belt, with more to come, hopefully.

On the Truth

Monday, September 11th, 2006

In Jim Gresham’s morality class in my junior year at St. Xavier High School, one of the first things we were told was the definition of morality. “Morality is the Search for Truth. It is the decision Making process that …’ and I don’t remember the rest.

I feel like I’m searching for the truth, and in that sense I am a wannabe philosopher. I don’t deign to call myself a philosopher for two reasons; the first is that you sound like an arrogant jerk if you call yourself a philosopher. The second actually has substance to it – a philosopher is someone who loves knowledge. I don’t think I have any knowledge – I’m an agnostic in the literal sense of the world. The more I learn, the more I read, the more I experience, the more I feel like I don’t really know anything.

When I was in second grade I knew more about politics than most adults I conversed with. I agrued with passion and conviction. Now I feel like i don’t know a damn thing, even though I have a lot more experience and understanding than I did when i was 7. When I was in grade school I knew there was a God and Right and Wrong and what you should and should not do. Now, I really have no idea what people mean when they use the word ’should.’ I use it myself but when I catch myself and try to understand what I really mean, it’s hard for me to know. I’m not even sure what it means to know something. As for what is ‘true’ or not, that’s even further beyond me. In fact, i’m pretty sure that truth doesn’t exist. I know what “decidability” means, in the context of a formal logical system, but I don’t think that’s the same as truth.

I just watched an episode of the Penn and Teller show ‘Bullshit!’ claiming to ‘debunk the myth’ of the nuclear family and its importance. Watching the episode, as well as some recent thoughts of mine on the lack of a common culturally accepted ‘courtship’ system in our modern society, inspired me to want to go do a bunch of research. What is research other than reading what a bunch of other guys wrote, with all the biases, inaccuracies, errors, shortsighted predictions and misjudgements entomed on the paper?

Ideally, nobody would care about anything and we could all have passionless discussions the way mathematicians do. The thing is, if nobody cared about anything the world would be one crappy place. It is our proclivity to care for things, to love them and to want to protect them, that causes us to be passionate and defend what we see as noble. The very tendencies that destroy our ability to perform logical analysis of our world are the tendencies that make it all worthwhile.

mmmmm.

I do so love a good paradox.

The Best Metaphor Ever

Saturday, September 9th, 2006

So, this came to me in a dream today. It was a rather strange dream but I started thinking about it and then suddenly it made a lot of sense.

Life is like a flower hatching from an egg. It is beautiful, but usually not what you expect. In order to truly appreciate it, you have to be willing to give up your expectations and take what comes. The ability to appreciate the absurd also comes in very handy.

I dig it. I mean like I really dig that statement. I was sitting in the physics loungue today, looking at all of the bricks painted by past Xavier Physics graduates and thinking of what I was going to put on my brick. This question has been in my mind since I first saw that wall back in August 2003, and now I think I know what will go up there, along with a few other little gimmicks or something.

Rock Climbing!

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

I went rock climbing with Bob tonight. It was pretty fun. I think I’ll hang out with Bob and Shaan more this year. I think I’ll hang out with people in general more this year :) . I plan to probably buy some rock climbing gear if I keep enjoying it; it’s a good excuse to take trips places. I also started doing fencing. Those people are the biggest bunch of dorks ever. Sometimes hanging around really nerdy people annoys me because they’re just so… nerdy! But it should be a fun time, and some of them seemed pretty cool.

I have to write an operating system this fall. I’m working with someone that I’ve never met before; I was told by a friend that this guy is a hard worker. He seems like it; hopefully we will become friends.

I find myself missing california. Very much so, in fact. It’s frustrating because the whole time I was there, I was looking forward to coming back to cincinnati and starting a relationship with Anneliese. Now that I know that’s not going to happen, I realize how happy i was, in many respects, in California. I had fun with Kevin and Steve and Ben and Seth and Sean and Claudia and everyone else. Those were good days. I’m glad I bought that harvey mudd pennant from the bookstore to hang in my room as a reminder.

I went to St. X today, to get some tickets for a football game on saturday. I felt bittersweet, walking the halls. I remember once towards the end of Junior year, when I was feeling stressed out about school and wanting it to be over, I realized that I was going to miss these days terribly in the future. I found it hard to comprehend but I realized then that in the future I would probably kill to spend a day at X again. I was right.

I am forming good memories now, here in my house with my friends. Staying up late removing carpet, drinking in the kitchen while discussing politics, yelling at the TV and sitting on the front porch with ‘wilma’, our busted microwave. Who knows what else we will do? Sometimes it hurts to fondly recall days of old. I’m just glad I’m forming new memories now. As always, the eels (my favorite band) say it best:

It’s up to you and me, and who’s to say?
These could be the good old days.

WTF Magnetic Field??

Wednesday, September 6th, 2006

My monitor has been needing degaussing much more frequently now. I wonder if my room is in some weird magnetic flux place?

I was told at a party that there is a ghost living in our house – this girl Kelli Blum told me that she knew some guys who used to live there and that they’d see ghosts now and then. I am planning on sleeping in the basement tonight, hoping to catch a glimpse of this ghost. If i don’t see a sign of the ghost tonight, I’ll try it a couple more times. I’d really like to see one, mainly because i’m extremely curious and like to believe in paranormal things.

Now that’s a productive Day

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006

Yesterday, i was planning on spending today looking for a job.

10:30 Wake Up
10:35 Call a lead that I’ve had for a while
11:15 Show up for Interview
12:15 Accept Job Offer

w00t

I need to keep myself busy this semester. I don’t tolerate boredom well, and I’ve got a personal issue to work through that’ll be a lot easier for me if I’m not sitting around with nothing to do.

I’m feeling good now. My appetite, which had been missing for several days, is back now.