Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Hooray for Bad Communication

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

My dad once told me that if you’re talking to someone on the phone, make sure you do not ask them “yes or no questions.” His reason for this was that often the employee wouldn’t hear the question, or would just be lazy, and answer ‘Yes’ even though they didn’t know what they were talking about. I ran into this just now, when I called Motel 6 to get a room in Flagstaff so I could see the Grand Canyon.

Me: Is an internet connection included in the cost of the room, or is that extra?
Lady: yes
Me: So If I get a room, will how much extra do I have to pay for an internet connection?
Lady: Oh, we don’t have internet.

I started to think about how this relates to information theory and how communication over a noisy channel neccessitates some kind of encoding scheme if you want any sort of accuracy. But that’s not really necessary.

Pre Mother’s Day Core Dump

Saturday, May 13th, 2006

Mother’s Day always makes me nervous. Of course, pretty much everything makes me nervous, so this shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who knows me. I want to get my Mom a sufficiently cool present. It has to be personal and say not only how much I care about but also that I love her. Last year I got her a bird bath. I knew she’d like it because she always liked watching birds at the feeder and even had a little book to tell her what kind of birds they were. She loved the bird bath. It also cost me around $130, and I don’t have a lot of money to spare on account of no longer having a job.

I was looking at cards today. I do not like greeting cards. They seem phony to me. It’s one thing if the card says “I Love you Mom.” I can respect that. It’s another when the card says “Our relationship is special because…” or “I like the way you…” It just seems phony to me. I didn’t write that about her; some schmuck at the greeting card company wrote that thing about her, and he doesn’t know my mother.

I got one that was funny and cute. I dunno. I will give her a hug. She will like that. I usually hug her every day before I go off to school or work, but I will do it again for Mother’s day.

I’m driving to california for research this summer, as I’ve said before. I’m very excited about it. I was planning my trip, and in order to save money on hotels I was going to find random college students to crash with. My first plan was to use facebook to send messages to people that I went to high school with. There weren’t enough of them, so I just messaged some random people. This is one reply I got back:

hey i wouldn’t give really care i have two extra rooms in my house and as long as you don’t mind me being maybe a little drunk or buzzed its cool also can you play sequence

I talked to the guy a bit more and decided that although he seemed a little bit crazy, it could be fun. He then wrote this on my wall (which is a little public messageboard type thing on facebook):

so are you ready to hear an okie accent do you think you are up for the task do you think you drink enough here is a topic for you and your boys to talk about stillwater aka stilly gets 3% of the nations alcohol wow ya think you are good a juggling my roomate is also quite good so what kind of whiskey do ya drink i need an estimate on the day of when you might be here

At this point I was a little more hesitant. Still, hotels are expensive and it would be awesome to meet some random dude and talk about crazy stuff with him. I was telling this story to some choir people at a party (I sang in the choir for the baccalaureate mass at Xavier. It was a lot of fun!) and one guy told me he had this website called ‘freeloaders’ or something where people would say ‘you can crash on my couch for a night here in this city.’ I looked that place up and it had some promise.

I mentioned my plans to my parents and they really didn’t like the idea of me staying with random strangers. Apparently my Aunt lives in Ft. Riley Kansas and I could potentially stay there for a night. I thought they were still in Louisiana. Now I’ll be going from Cincinnati to Ft. Riley to Denver to Flagstaff to LA. I think I have a place to stay in Denver, which means I’ll only have to stay in a hotel for two nights in flagstaff, so I can spend a day at the grand canyon.

Now I am going to play some guitar.

An Explanation of the Previous Post

Thursday, May 11th, 2006

I have all kinds of things going for me right now, especially when I compare my life as it is now to how things were going for me several months ago. I am no longer in a relationship that I want to get out of. I no longer feel starved for a social life. School is done, I’m having fun hanging out with friends now, and In two weeks I’ll be leaving cincinnati for the summer, to go to North Carolina for a week and then on to California for the summer.

Motorcycles are really Fun

Sunday, May 7th, 2006

Yesterday, among other things, I rode Jacob’s motorcycle for a bit. It wasn’t easy to pick up and learn how to drive the thing, but under his guidance I think I did pretty well. I can drive it up and down a straight patch of road at around 25-30 mph. It is unbelievably awesome to do so.

I must buy one.

!@#$ Girls

Thursday, May 4th, 2006

Seriously. I feel like I can easily attract girls I’m not trying to attract, and I’m horrible at snaring the attention and maintaining the interest of the ones I do want.

Maybe I’ll just become gay or something.

Bocce Tournament

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

We played some bocce on sunday in norwood. It was a good time. Here are some pictures for your edification.

I love Nerd Humor

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006

Found on slashdot:

Nerd1:
Just remember….you were a n00b yourself once…

Speak for yourself. After my mother re-partitioned her drive and mounted the smaller one at “/womb” I was compiled from source.

Nerd 2:
Half the stuff mounted there was foreign binaries that she could have got from anywhere.

Screw Linux!

Sunday, April 16th, 2006

I was having fun trying to get my programs to work under linux untill I realized that the things that I coudln’t get working were just not going to work. Among the various things I was struggling with was trying to get my mouse to work properly. I am used to a mouse with buttons on the left and right side that you can use to go ‘back’ or ‘forward’ in firefox or explorer or what have you. For some reason, in Linux, they were configured to ‘copy’ (instead of ‘back’) and ‘right click’ instead of ‘forward.’ The Ubuntu user forums were pretty helpful in explaining what I had to do: Edit some file in /etc/X11/ and then restart the X Windows system. I tried that, and when I restarted it didn’t work and was giving me a text only mode. I had no idea how to fix this; I realized that I probably should have backed up whatever file it was that I had edited, but at this point I was fed up with trying to get all of this stupid crap working in linux. The finance program couldn’t read my Quicken data files, the ipod-interface program would not use aac files, and the music player program wouldn’t play mp3’s.

I don’t want to fight my computer. I just want to use the damn thing. I can see why linux enthusiasts like the operating system, and if i had grown up using it maybe i’d stick with it or something, but windows really works pretty much just fine for me.

I found this on someone’s blog

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006

Sometimes these tests are accurate, sometimes they are not. This one made sense to me but maybe i’m flattering myself?


How You Are In Love


You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give completely and unconditionally in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you’re with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You’re secretly hoping your partner will change for you.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren’t loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Update: Wow, this one is eerily accurate:


You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut


You’re a complex creature, and you’re guilty of complicating things for fun.
You’ve been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life…
Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut.
To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.
What Donut Are You?

Update Again: This website has a lot of cool quizzes etc. You can tell I’m getting work done…

This one was very accurate:


Your Personality Is

Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.
You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!

Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.
In fact, you’re often a little short with people who don’t impress you mentally.

You seem distant to some – but it’s usually because you’re deep in thought.
Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.

In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate – who is also very intelligent.

At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers – like programming, medicine, or academia.

With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can’t take your criticism well.

As far as your looks go, you’re coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.

On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

And this one was just dead wrong:


Your Ideal Relationship is Polyamory


You want to have your cake… and everyone else’s.
Which isn’t a bad thing, if everyone else gets to eat too!
You’re too much of a free spirit to be tied down by a traditional relationship.
You think relationships should be open and free, with few restrictions.
What’s Your Ideal Relationship?

I’m done now.

A Post on Various Topics

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006

I woke up this morning with the best Idea I’ve had in a long time. In the a physics course I took last semseter, we learned the laws of electrodynamics, which describe electric and magnetic fields. Here they are:

Maxwell's Laws of Electrodynamics

My dream had something to do with me and some other physics majors wearing big hats to some ballet performance. I don’t remember whose ballet performance it was supposed to be but I’m pretty sure it’s connected to one of two girls I know who are or were involved with ballet. In any case, when I woke up I had the best idea – we should get some physics majors to go to a baseball game with maxwell’s laws (they call them Maxwell’s laws even though all he did was fix the last one… lucky bastard…) painted on their chests. At some time, perhaps maybe two innings in, we’d all take off our shirts and start cheering like crazy. The cameras would look at us and everyone would be like ‘what the heck do those guys have on their chests?’ I thought maybe we’d get on sports center or something. The people I shared this idea with seemed to like it. Maybe we’ll have to settle for a xavier basketball game instead of a red’s game, but still I think that’d be really cool. I want to be ?.

We have an ‘easter break’ for a couple of days, and I organized a group of physics/math/cs students to go on a short hiking trip to Caesar’s Creek park. It should be a fun time. I like organizing little groups like that. It’s fun to plan an activity and watch it come together, and then afterwards you have the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve accomplished something that made serveral people happy.

I’ve been doing more of this Abstract Algebra on my own, and I really love it. Right now I’m in the process of working out a proof of LaGrange’s theorem. The cool thing about working out the proofs on your own (the concept was thought up, in much more detail, by this guy named R. L. Moore) is that in the process of trying to figure out how to prove this thing that you’re given, you discover all kinds of other things along the way. I understand what these “group” things are on a level much deeper than I would if I had just copied the proof out of the book and read it untill I understood it. In working on this latest proof I went and looked over a previous theorem that I thought might give me a little insight. I learned this theorem before I started using the “Moore Method” on Anneliese’s advice, and when trying to go over it, I realized that I didn’t understand it nearly as well as I thought I had. I realize now that when you learn things, you can “know” an idea and be able to recite it, without understanding it at all. Unfortunately, our education system seems to prize knowledge much more than understanding.

I’ve known for a while I was going to lose my job. The IT department at AtriCure, a company with 200 employees, consists of one guy working full time, and me, a college student who can put in maybe 16-20 hours a week. They have needed to hire more people for about 8 months now, and back in March the higher-ups finally realized that was the case and decided that they’d fire me, the co-op, and hire someone full time. I was told that when this new guy started, I’d train him and then be out of a job. This was back at the end of februrary; I figured I’d have a job untill mid March or so. I found out yesterday that the new guy starts on Monday, which leads me to believe I will probably be here untill May 1st or so; I lost my job right when school gets out. Maybe I’ll go work at P.F. Changs for a week or so to try and make some cash? The crummy thing about all of this is that the new guy is going to be the Director of IT. This means that Adam, my boss, a guy who’s been with the company for most of its entire existence and works way too much, is now going to be reporting to a ‘new guy’ who he’s going to have to train. Imagine training your own boss. He’s not too happy about it. According to my mom, the same thing has happened to my dad numerous times – they hire some new guy with a buisness degree who doesn’t know crap and put him in charge of someone with technical knowledge but not the buisness savvy / people skills needed to get ahead in the damn buisness world. I’m lucky in that I’m a technically oriented person who also happens to be outgoing and extroverted. Unfortunately, most analytically inclined individuals are introverted and don’t get a lot of recognition. This revelvation of the way things are in the buisness world makes me more inclined to want to be a College Professor.

As much as I had to admit it, this series of events more clearly illustrates to me why so many intellectuals become socialists.

I’ll end on a happy note, though – because I feel great! Pretty much every day since I broke up with Megan, I have a sort of ‘realization’ that it really is over. It’s done. She’s not coming back. I won’t have to be in that situation again. I am free! The thing that I have wanted for so long, the thing I tried to convince myself not to want and tried to tell myself wasn’t really for me is finally mine and it’s much better than I had ever imagined. I am in such a different place than I was a mere 3 months ago, it’s not even funny. I am happy. I smile now.

Oh, and fill out this personality thing on me, please! I want to know what you bastards think of me.